Hard, cold plastic.

Sometimes, I can be so fake it scares me.

It felt like New Years again. We were all at her house, only M. and I were no longer together. I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when three of M.'s closest friends asked me to give her a chance because she means a lot to him and it would mean a great deal more if I tried to be friends with her as well. It was an idea I was shying away from since the day M. told me about how their innocent friendship had become so much more. The pangs of rejection stung my very core just as it did that Thursday long ago.

Everything, in retrospect, isn't as bad as it seems. In one hand, I'm glad he let me go. He did me a favor. Now I can actually find someone who makes me happy in every aspect of the word. I was miserable with him for the longest time, but I made myself believe that he was the only one capable of making me happy when I wasn't even happy at all. On the other hand, what we had before everything took a turn for the worse was beautiful. He made me the happiest miserable person on earth.

My thoughts came to an abrupt end when I saw the both of them walk through the door. He hovered over her as if to protect her from me when she walked over to say hi. It was unusual since no one was going to claw out anyones eyes that night. Violence is not my calling. Instead, I opted to smile, say hi and do the kiss on the cheek as per usual. Reluctancy cannot keep me from being polite. When M. and I came face to face, everything just felt so foreign to me. His arms were once my refuge. He use to feel like home. Everything we had had already disappeared. The feelings I had reserved for him died in the heat of summer. Nothingness came into existence. I looked into his face and there we were. Two different people from who we were, greeting each other with the simple gesture of hello and moving on, going about our own lives.

It's strange. Seeing someone who said they cared so much for you, treat you like their curse.